


boyfriends and girlfriends are gonna come and go, but this is for life

by dearhappy



Category: Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, How Do I Tag, Missing Scene, book canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 00:23:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15182645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearhappy/pseuds/dearhappy
Summary: She thought kissing Abby and her kissing back was going to bring down the apocalypse, burning down all their friendships along the way. And well, she hadn’t been wrong. In the moment it had felt like a beginning, a good one, but now she realizes it was only the beginning of the end.The apocalypse started slowly, and as soon as she tells Nick that would be it, the true start will happen. Everything will burn down and become ruins in an instant.(or the one where leah and nick have a talk during prom)





	boyfriends and girlfriends are gonna come and go, but this is for life

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote a leah & simon friendship centric fic, and it only seems fair to write one for leah & nick especially because i wish we actually got to see them talk about what happened.  
> so here it goes, pls enjoy and validate me
> 
> the title is a quote from the show friends

Once they get back to the pavillion, the night goes as follows: Leah never lets go of Abby’s hands, and allows herself to be dragged onto the dance floor with no struggle. And for once she lets herself get lost in the moment, she’s lost in the way Abby’s gazing at her and she thinks this must be how people feel when they say it’s like they’re the only two in the world, because it feels like nothing around her exists except for Abby Suso.

 

And just for a moment she lets go of all the deeply engraved insecurities, lets herself not worry what’s going on in other people’s minds as she dances the most she’s ever had in her entire life. 

 

She slows down for a moment, finally allowing herself to take in their surroundings. Some people have filtered out early, but there’s still a lot here. And then she catches sight of Nick ducking out of the doors. 

 

That’s when the world stops for a moment, she’s pushed aside all Nick related thoughts as soon as she kissed Abby the second time. And it’s like every single one of her worries are crashing back into her at full speed, she figured talking to Nick could wait but now she realizes it’s better to get it over with now while she’s still filled with all this adrenaline, before she can talk herself out of it, even if it means it’ll possibly ruin everything that has happened tonight between her and Abby. 

 

“Hey,” she says over the music as she leans towards Abby, “I’m going to get some air. Be right back.”

 

“I’ll go with you,” Abby says, smiling as she follows Leah’s step away.

 

Leah shakes her head immediately, “No,” she says all too quickly, and then adds, “I, uh. I’m going to check on Nick.”

 

There’s a look that passes over Abby’s face before she nods slowly,  “Don’t make me wait too long, okay?”

 

Leah sends her a smile. “I won’t,” she promises as she squeezes her hand before walking away, though she has no idea if she’ll even come back inside. She’s not sure what to expect from finally admitting to Nick that she’s the worst friend in the world. 

 

The mix of music and chatter is so loud but every step she takes feels almost deafening to her. And her heart is already pounding so loud in her own ears, she looks back to see Abby and Simon and Bram dancing together in a weird mix of jumping and actual dancing. She lets the image sink in before she continues out the door. 

 

She looks around for a moment, trying to figure out where Nick went but all she sees is two people making out against a wall. She can’t help but roll her eyes before walking down the hall, just as she’s about to turn she notices Nick in a small hidden corner sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. 

 

“Nick, you okay?” she says, slowly stepping closer to him.

 

His eyes open, a small half smile crossing his face but it’s not reaching his eyes. “Hey,” he says, not making any attempts to move, “‘m fine. Wanna sit?”

 

It hits her that this may be a truly awful idea, Nick has been a complete mess for weeks now, and dropping this bomb on him will only worsen things. She really is the worst friend to ever exist.

 

She thought kissing Abby and her kissing back was going to bring down the apocalypse, burning down all their friendships along the way. And well, she hadn’t been wrong. In the moment it had felt like a beginning, a good one, but now she realizes it was only the beginning of the end. 

 

The apocalypse started slowly, and as soon as she tells Nick that would be it, the true start will happen. Everything will burn down and become ruins in an instant. 

 

She takes a deep breath, she’s already talking herself out of it, “Uh. I just wanted to check on you.”

 

He hums, head lulling slightly as he stares at his feet. “How’s Abby?”

 

Her breath catches in her throat as she fiddles with her hands, shifting from foot to foot and avoiding Nick’s gaze. “Well, I… Uh…”

 

“She looked happier when you guys came back as a group,” he interrupts, his voice sounding so small and sad, “I… What happened?”

 

It feels like the words are stuck to the roof of her mouth, she has no idea what to say anymore. She’s frozen in her spot, and maybe she should’ve just avoided this completely. She wonders if it’s too late to pretend this never happened, change her name and move to Switzerland and never speak to anybody ever again. 

 

There’s a long pause of silence, and Leah swallows hard, finally she says, “Well, um, she wasn’t upset about the Taylor thing if that’s what you think.”

 

His head snaps towards her, he nods after a moment. “Okay. That’s… That’s good, right?” She shrugs and he only continues, “It doesn’t matter. I was still an asshole, wasn’t I? Ugh. I fucking… I can’t believe I actually did that. I’m the worst.”

 

She half smiles as she thinks back to her text to Abby, she feels bad because this is her friend. But still, she nods, “Yeah. I mean, you’ve been an asshole. But you’re not the worst.”

 

Silently she thinks again about how she’s actually the worst in this situation. And she sighs as she moves to sit down beside him on the floor, straightening out her dress over her legs. 

 

Nick scoffs lightly, leaning his head against the wall again. “If she wasn’t upset about the Taylor thing, then what? Why’d she leave?”

 

And he actually looks worried, like he’s fully realizing everything right in this moment and he’s only now letting himself acknowledge it aloud. And she feels completely awful, she doesn’t know how to make him feel better knowing that she’ll end up making things worse by being honest. 

 

She shrugs, “I… It’s complicated.”

 

There’s another bout of silence between them, when she looks at him his eyes are closed again. And for the first time in weeks he actually looks at peace, as long as you ignore how disheveled he now looks after the entire day of events. 

 

“Be honest, Leah, how much of an asshole have I been?” he asks quietly.

 

She bites her lip as she looks at him, letting out a forced laugh, “You’ve been a mess, Eisner.”

 

“I know,” he lets out a bitter laugh as his head turns to look towards her, “I know,” he says even quieter, his face falling as he looks down. He’s back to looking completely miserable. “Ugh, I’ve been really awful to everyone, especially Abby,” he says after a pause, covering his face as he lets out a groan. “I’m such an idiot.”

 

She hums as she looks at her feet stretched out in front of her, she’s not sure what to say to him.

 

“What was so complicated?” he asks suddenly, and she feels her heart stop, she’d figured he’d forgotten about that and moved on to him being an asshole. “I just… I don’t understand anything. Clearly. I mean, one minute we’re good and the next we’re arguing over stupid things. And then, she decided it’s over.”

 

“You should talk to her about this,” she says, “About the reasons she broke up with you. Like actually talk it through when you’re not drunk and being an asshole.”

 

“Did she tell you the reasons?” he asks, his eyes slightly wide at the possibility of hearing what really went wrong in his relationship.

 

And she feels a sharp twist in her chest. “Uh, you should talk to her about it,” she repeats.

 

Nick lets out a hollow laugh as he nods, “Yeah, I guess. It just… It hurts. So fucking much. I really love her,” he explains, running a hand over his face again. “But yeah, you’re right.”

 

And suddenly she feels like she’s drowning, she might choke before she can even finish this conversation. She knew he loved her, she knew that but it’s hitting her all over again. Having him say that just feels like a punch to the gut. Everything is crumbling, and she thinks she’s made a terrible mistake. She needs to make sure it never ever gets back to Nick. 

 

“Leah,” he says, startling her out of thoughts and she turns to look at him, he’s staring at her with a weird expression. “Are you okay?”

 

“Mhm, fine,” she lies, nodding quickly. 

 

“I may be a little tiny bit drunk, but,” he shakes his head, gesturing towards her, “You don’t look okay, dude.”

 

She freezes, not saying anything for a long moment. Finally, Nick sighs and says, “I know we don’t usually do this whole… Feelings thing. But I just admitted some shit, so maybe you should too. Make it even.”

 

She snorts as she shakes her head, though she can’t argue with his reasoning. It does seem only fair that she’s honest with him, maybe it’ll be better to just get it all out there but she can’t help worrying how that thought process will blow up in her face. 

 

Nick nudges his foot against hers. “Leah,” he says, “Something’s bothering you. Tell me.”

 

“I miss when we didn’t do this whole feelings thing,” she says abruptly, sending him an unimpressed look. “I should’ve left you to sulk alone.” 

 

“It’s a special occasion, it’s prom,” he says, he adds hand gestures to emphasize the word, though his tone is flat and slightly bitter. “And then we can go back to pretending we don’t know what feelings are. Deal?”

 

Her heart speeds up as she considers it, she figures either way the end result will be the same. She takes a deep breath, and before she can stop herself she blurts out, “Please don’t hate me.”

 

He looks immediately confused as he glances at her expectantly. “Why would I hate you?” he asks when he realizes she’s not going to elaborate.

 

She takes a deep breath as she stares ahead, she’s counting down the seconds in her head. This is it, this is how she’ll ruin things and she can’t help but hope that the earth will swallow her whole right this second so she doesn’t have to deal with this. 

 

“Because… Here’s the thing,” she starts to say, clearing her throat and shaking her head. “I’m bi,” she says instead. 

 

“Okay. That’s cool. Um, should I awkwardly hold your hand or something?” he offers quietly after a beat of silence. They both end up laughing at that as he reaches over to grab her hand, and she doesn’t pull away. “Proud of you, Leah.”

 

And for a split second it feels like things will be okay, but he doesn’t know the whole truth yet. She still hasn’t admitted the biggest part, the part that will make him completely hate her and ruin their entire friendship. 

 

“Thanks,” she whispers, smiling sadly as she lets the moment linger before she goes and burns things to the ground.

 

He nudges her slightly, when she meets his gaze he looks hurt again. “Did I… Did I do something to make you think I wouldn’t be cool with it?”

 

She takes in a sharp breath, closing her eyes for a moment as she gathers her thoughts. “No, that’s not it. That’s not why you’d hate me,” she whispers, she can’t bring herself to speak any louder. She sighs, squeezing his hand before letting go. “I just…”

 

He watches her expectantly, he looks so tired and suddenly she feels so tired. And she really should have timed this better, she could’ve waited until the next day. But then she thinks about how they always say it’s easier to just rip the band-aid off. 

 

“I really like Abby,” she says, for a moment there’s tension in the air. Everything feels so fragile and Nick’s face goes through a few emotions once the words sink in. And the rest of the words just seem to tumble out after that, “And she really likes me. We sort of… We just started a relationship like, almost an hour ago.”

 

And she clamps her mouth shut when she watches as Nick seems to crumble before her, he’s no longer looking at her. He doesn’t say anything, and she can’t help but feel the panic rise as she waits for some kind of response. 

 

She’ll even settle for him telling her to fuck off, anything is better than the tense silence they’re now sitting in. 

 

“Please say something,” she says quietly. 

 

“What do you want me to say?” he practically snaps. “She moved on quick, huh? And with my best friend of all people?”

 

Her jaw clenches as she stares at him. She can feel the anger rising, instead she shrugs before nodding as she moves away, “You know what. I’ll just-” 

 

He shuts his eyes and sits up, reaching his hand out to stop her from leaving. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I shouldn’t have said that.” He sighs heavily as he scratches at his neck, neither of them say anything for a moment as they both lean back against the wall. 

 

“I didn’t mean to,” she starts to say, but she doesn’t know how she intended to end that sentence without making it seem like either of them have a claim on Abby because they don’t. She clears her throat, and restarts, “I never wanted to hurt you, Nick. I just… It happened, I didn’t think she even liked me back until a few weeks ago.”

 

“A few weeks ago?” he asks, there’s an edge to his tone and he looks like he’s about to spiral all over again. And she hates that it’s her fault. 

 

“Nothing ever happened when you two were together. I would never, you know that,” she says quickly, she isn’t sure if that’s what he’s thinking but she wants to clear the air just in case. “During Spring Break. Uh… She kissed me.”

 

“Oh,” is all he says as he slumps even more against the wall. There’s a long pause before he half jokes, “And here I was worried she’d hook up with some college dude.”

 

“I understand if you completely hate me,” she replies, she knows if she were him that she would hate her. If she’s honest she’s fully expecting, she deserves it for being such an awful friend. 

 

Nick sends her a confused glance, “Why would I hate you?”

 

“Because,” she starts looking at the ceiling as she tries to gather her thoughts. “Because I’m your best friend and she’s your ex. And there’s all these rules about not dating your best friend’s ex. You know, the girl code or the bro code. Whatever,” she shrugs, and her heart feels like it’s breaking into a million pieces. “It’s just an asshole thing of me to do, isn’t it? So, if you hate me I wouldn’t blame you. And if you want me to break up with her then-”

 

He’s looking at her as if she’s crazy. “I don’t. I would never ask you to break up with her,” he says cutting her off before she can finish her thought process. “That’d be an asshole thing of me to do.”

 

She feels a rush of relief as he says that, she doesn’t know what she would have done if he gave her that ultimatum of choosing him or Abby. But then a part of her feels so sick as she thinks and overthinks it. And what if it’s only because he thinks it’s hot that his ex girlfriend is now dating a girl. “Is it because I’m a girl?” she asks defensively. 

 

“What?” Nick’s face is full of confusion as he looks at her, it takes a moment for him to recognize what she means. He looks almost shocked by the accusation, “Is- Is that what you think of me?”

 

She clenches her jaw, shrugging but her defensiveness doesn’t waver as she looks at him. “I don’t know, it’s just… I can never be sure about how guys view my attraction to girls,” she explains. He nods slowly, she doesn’t think he really gets it but he doesn’t tell her she’s being stupid so she counts it as a win. 

 

“It’s not because you’re a girl dating my ex, it’s because you’re my best friend. Besides,” he says, sighing as he looks down at his lap, “I saw how happy you two looked out on that dance floor. And I know I’ve been an asshole recently. But I… I wouldn’t ruin that happiness for you.”

 

Leah feels herself relax as she listens to him speak, she smiles slightly and feels herself blush at the fact that it was so obvious how happy she’d been dancing with Abby. “So you’re not mad?” she asks cautiously.

 

“No. Yes, I don’t know, maybe a little bit,” he says after a moment, shaking his head. “I’m definitely hurt and… But I don't hate you at all, okay? I’ll get over it. And her, eventually, I just. Just give me time, I’ll be fine.”

 

“You sure?” And she’s not even sure which part of his sentence she’s asking about, all of it probably. 

 

He nods, smiling sadly. “I could never hate you. We’re best friends. That’ll never change, no matter what happens,” he says, he pauses for a moment before adding, “And yeah. I’ll be fine eventually.”

 

“Okay.” 

 

And this time the silence isn’t suffocating, it’s comfortable like it’s always been with them. She sighs in relief, and realizes that maybe things will be okay. They hadn’t caused the apocalypse after all. 

 

Nick coughs awkwardly as he taps his fingers together. “Uh. You should go be with your girlfriend,” he says suddenly, smiling tightly, but he's trying. “I bet she’s wondering where you are.”

 

She laughs, it’s so weird yet exhilarating to hear somebody else refer to Abby as her girlfriend. It makes it all so much more real and makes her heart skip a beat. She stands up, pausing as she looks at Nick, “Are you going to be okay by yourself?”

 

“I’m fine,” he says, but she knows it’s a lie. He still has that sad look in his eyes even though he gives her a smile. He must notice her hesitancy because he waves her off. “Seriously, don’t worry about me. I’m… I’ll be right behind. I just need a minute.”

 

She hesitates for another moment before nodding, she sends him a small smile. “I’ll see you in there,” she says, making her way back towards the pavillion where her girlfriend is waiting for her and she can’t help but feel giddy by the mere thought of it. She’s becoming a soft mush and it’s only been about an hour since they’ve became official, she’s not sure how she’ll survive this but she can’t wait for it to unfold.

 

“Hey, Leah?” Nick calls out when she’s less than half a hall away from him, when she turns to look back towards him, he says, “Happiness is a good look on you.”

 

She grins and nods at him, before turning back to head back to the dance, to her prom where she’ll probably dance some more with her girlfriend. Once she’s back through the doors she’s looking around at everyone dancing or sitting at tables, she never would’ve imagined this would be how her prom would be. Honestly, she never really wanted to attend her prom before now. 

 

Then she spots Abby dancing with the boys, Garrett has now joined them. And even though the four are all dancing together it seems like she’s almost in her own little world, and she’s so beautiful. Abby reaches her hands out towards Simon and twirls him, before doing the same with both Bram and Garrett as the four of them dance in a messy circle. They’re all giggling and having fun.

 

And normally, the sight of her friends having fun like that would make her feel that awful twist of being left out. She can feel it beginning to crawl its way into her chest but quickly stamps it away as she takes slow steps towards them. Abby spots her first and grins brightly as she extends her arms towards Leah. 

 

She grins and lets herself cross the line and join in, laughing as they all badly dance around each other. And Abby never lets go of her hand, not that Leah would complain. 

 

As the next song begins, she notices Simon slowly stop dancing and looking away from them. When she follows his gaze she sees Nick a few steps away from their small group as they all stop dancing, he’s looking at each of them. “Room for one more?” he asks, smiling sheepishly. 

 

Simon grins before it falters slightly as he looks towards Leah and Abby expectantly. And he’s not the only one as Bram and Garrett look at them too. Leah squeezes Abby’s hand gently and she looks up from the floor to Nick. 

 

It takes a moment for Abby to smile slightly, nodding, “Of course there is.”

 

Nick’s shoulders seem to relax at that, he lets out a sigh of relief before sending her a small smile. And then he’s taking the final steps towards the group to be included, there’s an awkward pause as they just stand there.

 

“Well, let’s dance then,” Leah says, surprising everyone as she breaks the silence.

 

And Abby laughs, nodding as she says, “Let’s dance!”

 

Soon enough they’re all laughing and dancing along to some upbeat song and everything feels so right. And Leah thinks, yeah, they’re going to be just fine after all. 


End file.
